


breathe again

by norwegianssweethearts



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Child Neglect, Eating Disorders, F/M, Getting Back Together, Missing Scenes, Noorhelm - Freeform, a little bit angst, post 4x08
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norwegianssweethearts/pseuds/norwegianssweethearts
Summary: William is so different from the William she left. He is so grown up. His hair is a bit different, a bit longer, styled in a different manner. His eyes are darker. He is definitely taller and broader, but, God, he is even more handsome.  She is desperate to touch him. She wants to let her fingers stroke his hair so much. And she hates not knowing if she is even allowed to.or my own and personal version of what happened after Eva's birthday.





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello (again) !
> 
> Writing this was not the plan. At all. Oh well.  
> if you're reading this, thank you. Chapter 2 should be up soon. 
> 
> Texts in italics are lyrics. 
> 
> I challenge myself to write in english (don't ask me why) so I apologize in advance for the mistakes. And my sincere apologies to my English teachers, too. As a former English lit student, I know I shouldn't struggle that much. Sorry. 
> 
> If you spot mistakes you can send me a message here or on tumblr (norwegianssweethearts.tumblr.com), I'll appreciate it.

_If I never feel you in my arms again_

_If I never feel your tender kiss again_

_If I never hear I love you now and then_

_Will I never make love to you once again_

_Please understand if love ends_

_Then I promise you, I promise you_

_That, that I shall never breathe again_

_Breathe agai_ n

 

Noora doesn’t remember how she ended up in his car, in _William’s_ car. All she can remember is seeing William getting out of the car and the air suddenly leaving her lungs. William was here, _is_ here, in Oslo. She hears his voice saying « Thanks for the e-mail » over and over again in her head. The rest is foggy. All she knows is that they’re both in his car, William driving to god knows where and she realizes she doesn’t even care where they are going when she’s going with him. She also realizes that once again, she ditched her friends as soon as William looked at her, disappearing without saying anything. It’s Eva’s birthday and she should be with her, partying with the girls. When William is involved she can’t think straight, she becomes selfish and do only what she really wants to do. She cannot even blame him, because William never tried to distance herself from the girls, he was always glad that she had friends to spend time with. She just has got eyes only for William and forgets the rest of the world when he is here. She thinks and hopes the girls, especially Eva, understand and won’t be offended by her disappearance. Sana wrote an E-mail to William, after all. 

 

She doesn’t know how long they’ve been driving, she doesn’t even know where they are and she doesn’t care. She looks at William intensively. He seems concentrated on the road, she can see in the way he holds the steering wheel that he’s stressed. She expected him to be angry. The tone of his voice gave her that impression, but he seems more hurt than angry. It is worse. She knew that leaving him the way she did hurt him but seeing him hurt is a different story and she isn’t prepared to deal with the consequences of her own actions. 

 

William is so different from the William she left. He is so grown up. His hair is a bit different, a bit longer, styled in a different manner. His eyes are darker. He is definitely taller and broader, but, God, he is even more handsome.  She is desperate to touch him. She wants to let her fingers stroke his hair so much. And she hates not knowing if she is even allowed to. 

 

The silence is heavy but she does not know how to break it. They were apart for so long, how do they break the ice ? They’re sitting so close from each other, yet so far. She almost can see the huge wall that they built between them during all those months. She hates it. She wants him to talk. He didn’t come all the way to Oslo to not say anything to her, did he ? Suddenly, she realizes that William came from London, for her. He made the first move towards her. Last summer, he used to say that Noora going with him to London was a huge proof of her love for him. And here he is, in Oslo. He took a flight back, for her. She used to dream about it a lot. She had hoped he would come back looking for her. 

 When she embarked her flight all those months ago, she thought he would follow her right away. It was naive of her, but she never thought she would go almost one year before seeing him again. She expected him to take the next flight. It took her weeks to fully acknowledge the fact that there was a huge possibility she would never see him again. That idea made her so sick. There was never a day without her thinking about him. She came to the conclusion that maybe being apart was for the best but she could not stomach it. It felt so wrong. And then Mari told her she heard he had a girlfriend in London and she lost it. She left the love of her life thinking he would run after her and she lost him forever. _This is what heartbreak feels like_. _Empty_. She felt so empty, everything seemed faded. And then, he got out of that damn car and it was like her heart was beating again, she felt more alive at that exact moment than during those eight months without him. It’s not even that she can’t function without him, because she definitely can. Simply, if she doesn’t have to, then she doesn’t want to. He’s a special part of her life, and she accepted a long time ago that she lives a fuller life by his side. 

 The thing is, William is not Marco. Her relationship with William is not the same as the one she had with Marco, either. She was not in love with him. She was infatuated, for sure, but not in love. When she met Marco at school, she was desperately looking for something that would fill in the emptiness in her life caused by the lack of relationship with her parents. She wanted to have someone who loved her for real and who put her first for once. She was so young and so blinded by everything that she did not see that Marco did not care about her as a person, and only saw her as a sexual object. William is so different. She can see building a family - a real one for both of them - with him. He’s far from perfect, and they have so much to talk about, but she knows he loves her. She realized a few weeks ago that she left not really because she felt like he didn’t love her anymore, but because he stopped putting her first. She was not a priority in his life anymore. 

 She doesn’t know if William thought about their relationship as much as she did but she understood so much things during this time apart. She knows that they have a huge and difficult conversation waiting for them in the future. That conversation could break them up if they don’t find a middle ground on some important things. That’s such a scary thought, she puts it aside for now.

 They’ll have to talk about Vilde, London, his father. More importantly, they’ll have to talk about Nico. Every time she thinks about that whole situation, she cannot believe that they let him win. He was the catalyst for their downfall and if that’s not the most ironical thing ever… 

William never explained his childhood to her and he will have to.  She doesn’t know if she’s ready to hear the abuse he was subjected to. She doesn’t even know if William is aware it was abuse. She saw him and his father interact. His father was borderline abusive in front of her. He doesn’t love his son. She can’t even imagine him raising a child. She loathes William’s father as much as she loathes Nico, and that’s saying something. How will she be able to explain to William that he’s not like them, or that he can be much more than they’ll ever be, she doesn’t know, but she’s ready to try for the rest of her life. She is now convinced that a huge problem in their relationship is that William thinks he’s like his father or his brother, that he tries to be different, to be better, but he fails because it’s in his genes. It’s bullshit, of course, but if she’s right and it’s his thought process, then she will be by his side during his self-realization path. She was alone, in a hospital when she learned that lesson, and she does not want him to be alone, ever. 

 Suddenly, she feels his eyes on her, just for a second. She plays with her lips a little bit, to give herself courage before saying « I didn’t send that E-mail ». She sees the exact moment William process the words she said. It reminds her of the time she said « I don’t like you » to his face. He’s defeated. « What did it say ? » she adds carefully. He opens his mouth but doesn’t answer right away, not trusting his voice. He gulps.  « I love you and if you love me, come to Oslo »

Wow. He came back just because of this sentence. Sana went straight to the point and it worked. She smiles. She loves Sana. And William. 

 She realizes they’ve been silent for a while. « Where are we going ? » she asks him, softly. She hates to be so careful around him but she doesn’t know the rules for whatever they are doing right now.  

« I don’t know. » His harsh tone surprises Noora. « I can drop you off to yours, if you want ». His eyes are still fixed on the road. 

Just when she wants to say no, she sees it. On his wrist, there is a bracelet, and it’s hers. This is the only thing  she forgot in London. Apart from William, obviously. It’s a sterling silver chain bracelet William brought her last year. She reaches to it, careful not to touch him. «  It’s mine ». 

 « I can give it back to you before dropping you off. You can take it off my wrist. » He seems so hurt. She then realizes that William changed road to go back to her neighborhood. « I can drop you off at Chris’s if you prefer » and no. It’s all wrong. « William. No. » He’s totally closed off. Noora doesn't even know how to reach him anymore. It’s just at this moment that she realizes William doesn’t know that she wanted him to come back. She said she didn’t send the E-mail without stating that the message was true. When she says she cannot think when he’s with her, this is what she’s talking about. 

 « Pull over » she orders him. 

« What ? » he answers, taken aback.   

« pull over and stop the car William. Now.  » she repeats, and he executes himself. 

 William doesn’t move at all when he’s done. Realistically, she knows she has to make the first move. He left London for her, thinking she was waiting for him. She has to prove him that she does want it (whatever that could be) as much as he does but she doesn’t know how to. if she doesn’t though, William won’t say anything to her and they’ll be stuck again. 

 

_If you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss, that’s where it is_

 

« Hey, you » she settles for. He looks at her directly in her eyes, as if he is looking at her soul and she feels herself blushing. She has a mission. She moves a bit closer to him, reaching to touch his hair with her hand. « Hi William Magnusson » and then, she kisses him gently. For a second, she fears to have crossed a boundary she didn’t know about but then he kisses her back and wow, she missed him like crazy. They’re not really in a comfortable position for a heated kiss, but William tries anyway and suddenly she doesn’t even know how she survived without him and his lips for so long. When he kisses her neck, she can feel his smile on her skin. "Hi Noora Amalie Saetre" he says and she melts into his arms. She feels safe. They stay that way for a while and she feels William’s fingers tracing patterns on  her back, his mouth kissing her neck or her shoulder. She could stay there for hours but she decides that it’s time for them to move on. « Where do you wanna go ? »

 

« I don’t know. » he whispers against her neck. « I don’t care. We could go anywhere. » She nods. She takes his face into her hands to make him look at her. She brushes her nose against his. « Take me home ? » she tells him, looking into his eyes. He nods.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> Here's part 2. Two things to say to you
> 
> 1\. I proofread this after midnight. 100% does not recommend, sorry for the mistakes. You can point them out if you want to. 
> 
> 2\. I might write more of this story... I feel like it's more a beginning than the end, so. If you're interested in reading what happens next, you can send me prompts. By that, I mean, you can tell me here or on tumblr what subject you think they should talk about. I'll incorporate them in future chapters if I can. 
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter :)

_Fading in, fading out_

_On the edge of paradise_

_Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find_

_Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire_

_Yeah, I'll let you set the pace_

_Cause I'm not thinking straight_

_My head spinning around I can't see clear no more_

_What are you waiting for?_

 

The rest of the ride passes silently. She hears William breathing next to her and can’t stop herself from playing with William's hair. They arrive at William's apartment, and Noora smiles when she sees the building. They didn't live there for long but the place is full of fond memories. 

William left his shared penthouse and moved in this much smaller one after their big party. William's father didn't think to buy an apartment in Oslo was a priority because there were just a few weeks left before them leaving for London, so he told William to 'suck it up' and just stay with Nico for a few weeks. However, it was impossible for William to stay in his penthouse. They tried to stay at Noora's but Eskild was unbearable and they needed a bit of privacy. One day, William's grandmother told him that she was spending a lot of time in America, leaving her apartment unoccupied most of the time. She offered them the key. It quickly became their home. 

 

They are Home. Noora feels William taking her hands in his as they walk towards the entrance. She laughs. Quickly, they climb up the first stairs. Feeling a bit carefree, she stops in the middle of the second stairs and forces William to stop too with her body. His back hits the wall and he laughs "what ?". Pressing her body against his, she says "nothing", but the smile she gives him tells another story. William puts his hands on each side of her face and kisses her fiercely. 

They've been apart for eight months and it is as if they never were. That's comforting, even if they both know they will have to work hard on their issues to stay together. Right at this moment though, she just can't imagine a life where William is not there. 

 

After a not so short make out session, they reach the last floor and enter the apartment. Suddenly, the atmosphere becomes more serious. She kisses him again, but this kiss tastes more like a reassurance that they're good. She tries to deepen the kiss but a loud growl comes from her stomach. "You're hungry?" William asks her. "A bit. I ate but we were waiting for Sana to break her fast to eat a proper meal." William nods and goes to the kitchen.

"I could make something. Pasta ? Pizza? Cocoa ?" He grins. She sits on the counter next to him. "Cocoa seems good. Do you have ingredients to prepare pancakes?" He nods. "Yes, girl. I can make you breakfast at night." 

Suddenly aware of her surroundings, she takes a look at the kitchen. It seems lived in. Curious, she quietly asks, "William? When did you come back ?" He looks at her and says "last week" before resuming to prepare his pancakes. Okay. A quiet surprised gasp leaves her lips. She ponders asking further for a moment, but then William looks at her and seems to understand what she's thinking. "Chris made me swear on my whole life to wait for him to come back from the Army before trying to see you again" he takes a breath, " I almost broke the promise, but... He was very adamant about it." She nods and smiles. She watches him prepare the food.

Approaching her, William says "we have to wait 20 min before making the pancakes. Here's your cocoa. What do you want to do?" And then kisses her again and again. Deepening the kiss, Noora put her hand beneath his shirt. Then, she kisses his neck. "We could", another kiss, "have sex". He steps back from her a bit, and Noora tells him "Don't stop." William looks at her and says "Noora, no." She strokes his cheeks and plays with her lips a bit. She knows him, she knows he wants this as much as she does so she tries to persuade him. "Come on, William," she says before kissing him again. "You want to, don't you? It's okay, I promise". He takes another step back, taking her hands in his to put them away from his body. " you know I want to. I would love to make love to you because I love you. But it's not the time. Not right now."  Suddenly, she remembers what Mari told her a few weeks ago. A rush of sadness runs up her body. The reality of their situation hits her. Hard. She's quiet for some time. "Is it because you have a ..." She pauses. "someone waiting for you in London ?" 

William furrows his eyebrows, his face becomes suddenly much more serious. " You really think I'm a cheater?" He snaps back at her. She shakes her head "that's not what I..." She whispers. 

" I wouldn't have kissed you if I was dating someone else, Noora." He says, taking her face into his hands. "The only girlfriend I ever had is right in front of me" he smiles. 

"You didn't ...? I mean, I heard some time ago..." She pauses again, "it doesn't matter." she finally tells him a bit more sure of herself, realizing that it is true. It doesn't matter if he's here in her arms. 

William smiles, "Well apparently part of my plan worked out." he looks at Noora and laughs a bit. Rubbing her thighs with his hand, he continues "Eva told you." Her "no" surprises William. 

"Few months ago, Chris was worried about me. Like really worried. It's another story, but. Yeah. He actually hates conflict and he confronted me. He said that he was concerned about me and he felt really helpless because he enrolled in the Army and couldn't come to see me. I told him that I was seeing someone. I lied to appease him" he pauses. "But I also knew that he was sleeping with Eva a lot, and that he told her everything. I thought Chris would eventually tell Eva, and that she would tell you. I hoped that maybe it would prompt a reaction from you. I waited for a long time. I thought my little plan went wrong because my best friend didn't tell yours." 

Noora feels a weight she didn't know she carried lifting from her shoulder. "Mari told me. I met her at a party and she casually mentioned that she heard you had moved on. But, Chris told Eva. The girls knew. They just didn't tell me because I never told them the whole story. Well, Sana knew everything but I told her it would kill me to imagine you with someone else so she omitted that info. That's probably why she wrote that email…. Well, no. You got that email because.." she took a huge breath, " when Mari told me what she heard,  I also learned that everyone but me knew about your new girlfriend, and... I was hurt. I felt like my world was crumbling down. There was a boy, who was too sweet to me and." She pauses enough for William to understand where her story is going. "I kissed him. He didn't reject me at first because I was upset. But, like it was literally nothing.  I kissed him and then he left. Long story short, he's in love with Sana, and Sana likes him. She saw us kissing and thought we were dating or something. She was mad at both of us but we didn't know why. She sent you that email to, I don't know for sure but, separate Yousef and I, I guess. But we're not even friends, he just sends me texts now and then to gush about Sana. She probably had this whole story made up in her head and …. » 

« This is exactly why we can’t make love right now, Noora. We have to talk. » His voice is colder than before, but he tries to move closer to her. « It’s not because I don’t love you, or because I don’t want to, or anything really. It’s not because of those eight months or .. I don’t know. Listen, we shouldn’t even have kissed probably you know? Sex won’t solve our problems. Kissing won’t either. We can pretend all we want that we’re fine because we’re in love with each other, reality will hit us sooner rather than later. » He has a point so she nods. «  I don’t care about this guy. I will explain everything later but long story short, I can’t promise you that I didn’t hook up with other people, because the truth is simply that I don’t know. » she shakes her head a bit, trying to process the information but before she can react he continues, « Sex was the last thing that worked between us before you left. If we have sex now, we will never bring ourselves to talk. Look, instead of talking about our issues, we argue whether to make love or not. We should take it slow. Talk. See if we can save our relationship. I want us to. We have to do it healthily though, otherwise, we will hurt each other even more. As much as I want to forget everything and just take you to bed and make you scream my name, we have to wait and be sure that it is the best for both of us. That there is still an us somewhere, apart from our physical and sexual chemistry. If we fall into our old mechanism of making love to avoid communication, nothing will work. And I need you, Noora, I can’t lose you. Not a second time »

« Can we just pretend for today? And talk tomorrow? I don’t want to lose you either but I’m so tired. Remember when I asked for space after the fight with the Yakuzas ? » he nods, « I told you that I couldn’t think when you were by my side. That was….. Turns out, I can’t think when you’re not here either. I know you’re right and sex won’t solve a thing, but I terribly miss you right now. I promise you we’ll talk but, please can you just hold me now? We can eat the pancakes and just go to bed if you don’t want more. I just wanna stay next to you. »

_I got all I need_

_When you came after me_

_Fire meet gasoline_

_I'm burning alive_

_And I can barely breathe,_

_When you're here loving me_

_Fire meet gasoline_

_Burn with me tonight yeah_

They both know it’s just Noora being afraid of confrontation and wanting to gain time. But when William looks at her and sees that she’s breathing heavily, he gives in. « Okay. It’s okay, No’ ».  He kisses her forehead and hugs her tight. « I’m going to make pancakes if it’s okay with you and you go to bed? I’ll bring food and cocoa in a few minutes ». She doesn’t move. « Noora I promise you everything is ok. Just breathe. Can you breathe for me? » She tries but her breathing is still too hectic. She melts into William’s arms. He whispers reassuring words to her. 

« What if… » she says quietly, « what if we talk and it doesn’t…» She takes a huge breath, « work out? »

« It will work out Noora. It will take time maybe. It will be difficult, but. I believe in us. If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then we’ll take separate paths. You’re strong, so strong and independent, you’ll be fine. You’ll be happy on your own, with your friends. » he tells her. « I won’t give up on you that easily though, so we’ll be fine. I promise you. »  She calms down after that and tries to fix his hair.

« You also promised me pancakes. » she jokes, going down the counter. « I’ll be waiting in bed. » she adds before going to his room. 

She finds a T-shirt in his wardrobe and puts it on. After that, she lays down in the bed. The familiarity of the room makes her at ease. Alone for a moment, she tries to process the last few hours. Then, she sees William, with pancakes and cocoa in hand.

They eat in a comfortable silence. She compliments him about the food and cocoa. When they’re done, he undresses and then lays down next to her.  She moves closer to him to cuddle. « Is it okay ? » she asks. « Of course, more than okay. » he tells her. 

« We’ll talk tomorrow morning » she states and he hums in agreement. « But, when do you go back to London ? » she adds, her voice suddenly filled with sadness. 

« I’m not going back to London, Noora ». A surprised gasp comes out of her mouth and she smiles. « oh. Okay » She feels too tired to investigate further. 

The silence fills the room for a moment before William breaks it, « You’ll be here tomorrow right ?». The vulnerability Noora can hear in his voice breaks her heart. « Of course William. There’s nowhere in the world I would rather be. I swear. » To reinforce what she just said, she kisses him.

« Good night Noora »

« Good night William »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned :
> 
> love me like you do - Ellie Goulding
> 
> Fire meets gasoline - Sia.
> 
>  
> 
> Hit me up with your suggestions here or on Tumblr :)  
> Thanks for reading


	3. Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> Part 3 is here. 
> 
> I'm still sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> Fair warning, this is sad. I'm sorry.
> 
> two things to say... 
> 
> 1\. I imagined William's childhood. I took into account everything I remembered from the serie but, it's totally a guess.  
> 2\. It's not my intention to try to excuse William's behavior. I tried to think of a conversation where he tries to explain everything to Noora. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, see you soon.

When Noora wakes up, she's a bit disoriented. It takes her a few seconds to understand where she is and to process what happened last night. Eyes still closed, she reaches the other side of the bed with her hand, looking for William. She shakes her head, confused. Suddenly awaken to the lack of his presence, she stands up quickly and goes immediately to the kitchen. « William?", she calls but she's met with utter silence. She knows that he'll inevitably come back. It's his apartment, after all. But her heart starts beating way too fast in her chest. She realized that it is probably how William felt when he discovered their London apartment empty. Maybe William’s situation was worse because there was no hope that she would come back, as all her belongings were gone as well. She feels sick to know she put him through that just to avoid talking to him. 

The sound of keys opening the door makes her turn over to face William, who comes back with breakfast, apparently. « oh, didn’t think you would wake up while I went to the bakery, sorry if I scared you, Noora ». He definitely knows what she was thinking and how she felt. Which, to Noora, somehow makes everything worse. 

« It’s okay, » she says quietly, smiling. She hugs him tight, whispering into his neck a little « hello ». He replies and then kisses her. Rubbing her cheek, he tells her « I bought you pastries for breakfast if you want. And your favorite Starbuck’s drink. » That’s what he used to do on Sundays in London before everything got complicated. « but you should drink it before it gets cold »  
« We’re Saturday, not Sunday, you know ? » she laughs. « But, thank you. »

« I’ll do it every day if you want » he replies, quietly. Oh, she missed him. That was such a William answer. She honestly loved how he always made sure to throw some comments like this one, to reassure her that he would do anything to make her happy.  
She is relieved to see that they are able to talk about London, the good memories at least, without getting sad and uncomfortable. 

« I’m in love with you » she states a bit out of the blue. « I’m really really in love with you. Insanely in love with you. And I’m sorry I left like I did. Truth is, I don’t know if I regret leaving, but I should have warned you.»

Taken aback, William sits down on the window before saying, « A warning would have been nice, yeah. But I would have tried to make you stay, so… » he takes a breath, « we cannot change anything. You shouldn’t apologize for doing what’s best for yourself. But I… Yeah. Coming back without knowing you were already in Oslo was not the best experience of my life. Neither were the past 8 months for that matter. » he stops himself, looking at her, almost like he's not sure if he should say what is on his mind. « You know what’s ironic about that? I decided to leave work early that day. I thought about you, how our relationship was fading into something I didn’t want it to be and decided to come back after lunch to spend the rest of the day with you. I told myself we could go to the park. In my head, everything was planned. But when I entered the apartment, it was totally empty and… I couldn’t stop thinking that if I had decided to surprise you the day before, maybe you wouldn’t have left. Maybe you would have, but... Yeah.». He looks down, his voice filled with emotion. 

" I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve to be blindsided like that. We could have done a lot of things differently, you can't wear the blame of our fallout alone. That wouldn't be fair, to either of us. We were shit at communicating from the start, William. We're so different. We have to communicate to make it work."

William looks at her intensively "yeah. For the record, if it isn't a little bit obvious, I'm really, really in love with you too."

Sipping her drink, she feels herself blushing. « How do we do this? What are the rules? » She asks him.  
« I don't know. Do you have questions ? do we talk chronologically about everything? The only rule is to be hundred percent honest. Even if you think it’s not what I want to hear if it's the truth just tell me, okay? »  
Noora nods, « same for you. I guess we could start chronologically yeah. but if we have questions, we just ask each other. ». 

For a few minutes, the silence fills the room in. Noora eats her pastry, William drinks his coffee. Facing each other, Noora sitting on the table and William on the window, they look at each other but neither of them wants to be the first to speak. 

« I’m gonna start if it’s okay with you » he finally says. « I’m gonna tell you everything. I understood that me not thinking the past is important doesn’t mean it has no impact now. So… My mum got pregnant at 19. She was a uni student and hooked up with one of the boys in her course. She got pregnant and the boy disappeared. When she learned she was pregnant, it was a little bit too late if you know what I mean. She had to raise Nico completely by herself. She had to delay her studies and I think she resented him a lot. Soon after the birth, she met my dad. She attended some financial course at uni and my dad was tutoring. He is 14 years older than her. According to my grandma, my mum was obsessed with him. They started dating quickly but my dad didn’t get attached to Nico. He found him annoying. He didn’t want to take care of him. My dad wanted his own children. My mum was only 21 when she had me and 22 when Amalie was born. She loved us, I can’t say that we weren’t loved. But she made huge differences between us two and Nico. Nico was unstable, unbearable. She did not know what to do with him and my dad did not care, he only cared about me and my sister. At home, the atmosphere was always tense. I think mum did all she could but she was at home most of the time, with three kids.  
My dad certainly loved her but he didn’t really hide his affairs well. I think he saw my mum as a cute student, who was here to take care of his children. My dad is the definition of a fuckboy, always has been. I think my mum thought he would change but he did not, and she was stuck with three kids to raise almost alone at 22 years old. I don't know if she was happy but, she tried her best to raise us despite Nico being really difficult.  
I was the little prince of my dad, he spent his weekends with us, he was not really here because he was working a lot but he tried to do things with us. My early childhood was not sad or anything, it was pretty normal if you take Nico's tantrums out of the equation. But, we were left alone a lot. I realize now that we were too young to take care of ourselves. One day, when I was 9, Nico 11 and Amalie 8, Nico wanted to go somewhere but we were completely alone. He told us he would drive. I tried to tell him it wasn't possible but he didn't listen. I didn't wanna go but he convinced me. Amalie followed me everywhere so she went with us. We weren't wearing seat belts. We crashed few meters after the house. I don't remember anything. All I remember is waking up alone. I was admitted to the hospital because I had a few injuries, but nothing really serious. I was mostly shocked. I remember asking for my mum. I asked where Amalie was but nobody answered me. I stayed a few days there. My mum never came. I was only eight years old and I needed my mum. My dad visited when he had time but I was mostly alone and I didn't know where my sister was. I think I realized that it was serious but nobody told me in concrete terms that she had died in the accident. They were always vague. My dad finally told me. He was never really affectionate, you know? And I was so sad, I needed to be comforted but all he did was.. he told me to « man up ». He told me to be « strong like a real man ». That was it. I went home and my mum was here but she was devastated. She was too preoccupied with her own sorrow to be there for me. I realized soon that my mum blamed me. She told me that I shouldn't have followed Nico because I knew it was a bad idea. My dad took my side and told her she was being unfair because Nico was the one who was driving. He told me not to feel guilty. He was still cold but he didn't let my mum lash out at me. It was important to me. But a few weeks later, he told me he was moving to London. He couldn't stand staying with Nico and my mum. I literally begged him to take me with him. But he said I was too young. He said "William, you're too young. But I promise you, you can come when you're older". After that, I spent my holidays in London. The rest of the time, my mum was nowhere to be seen. She hired nannies who lived with us and they basically raised us. Nico said we had to stay together because we were brothers. He was controlling, he didn't like when I had a friend for example. I believed what he said you know? That he was the only family I had so we had to stick together. It's only when I met Chris that I started realizing that it shouldn't be like that. Chris helped me understand that a brother shouldn't control or try to control your whole life. Chris never liked Nico and it was mutual. But when I met Chris, Nico was not in the same school as me so he had lost a bit of control. Chris and all of my friends showed me what family is really about, you know?. When Nico was 16, my mum moved in with her new husband and it was clear that neither of us was invited to follow. We moved in the penthouse and I never saw my mum again. She sometimes sends a text, but that's about it. She gives us money every month though. I know she's depressed, I know that she's an alcoholic. I know that. I know losing her child like that messed her up. I know she isn't a real bad person. But I was only eight years old. Nico was eleven. Nico is a psychopath. He needed treatment, even back then. She did nothing to help him but she blamed us. She blamed me. It wasn't fair. I lost Amalie too. » His voice breaks and he looks down. 

Noora, who didn’t want to interrupt him before, immediately goes to him, taking him in her arms. « I’m sorry, » she tells him. She is so relieved that he finally told her the whole story, even if the summary he gave her certainly does not include some of the worst situations William had to live through. « that’s why you told me that it was impossible for my parents not to love me, right? » She feels William nodding against her. « you didn’t want me to feel like you do ? » he nods again.  
« I know my mum doesn't love me, you know. She doesn’t love us like a mother should love her children. » he whispers, « it sucks. She’s … I know you don’t like those words but she’s a cunt. I made peace with it. But you are too special, Noora. It’s impossible for your parents not to be proud of raising such a wonderful human being. If I was more like you, maybe mum wouldn’t have shut me out. But, according to her, I’m exactly like my dad. » He takes a huge breath. « I’m so tired.» She takes his face into her hands.  
« You’re a wonderful person, William. Your mother is missing out. You’re not like your dad. At all. Do you hear me ? » she tells him, « you’re not your dad, you’re not your brother. You’re you. You grew up into the smart, affectionate, kind young man I fell in love with, despite everything. You did that, nobody helped you. I promise you, William, you’re not your dad.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> Here's another chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it. 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes, apparently I struggle with conjugation much more than I thought.

« You didn't always say that, » he tells her, almost like a joke. "You called me out in front of the whole school, remember? »

« You were a total prick to Vilde. You deserved it." She answers, pressing a little kiss on his jaw. « That doesn't mean you haven't got qualities. I didn't know you back then. You can be a prick, when you want to be. That's not your normal state, though. You're really great with people you care about. You don't extend your greatness to strangers, or people you don't necessarily care about. But, you've been better in that aspect since we started dating. » 

He nods « how do you know I'm not like my dad? I acted like him in London, it led you to leave. »

« You came back. » She answers. « You may be a real cliché sometimes, but ultimately you care more about people than money. From the little bit I know about your dad, he's the opposite. I didn't recognize you in London, and I couldn't stand seeing you so.... Trying to please your dad so much that you lost yourself in the process. I could deal with your dad not caring about me and treating me like your trophy wife because I knew you loved me. It was much harder to see him treating you like his puppet when you were desperate to get his attention.  I'm sorry but, it's the truth, William. I don't think your father cares about you like he should. Like you deserve." 

« I know that, » He says, sadly. « I know that now. » 

Noora is not sure if she should ask him to explain further, but she tries anyway, « Something happened? »

William takes a deep breath, « After you left, I was miserable. I told him more or less everything but he brushed it off. He tried to introduce me to some girls. I didn’t care about them and he didn’t understand. He’s been with Lindsay for a long time, but he hooks up with young ladies all the time and he expected me to do the same. He introduced me to a few boys, and asked them to invite me to parties. They’re clichés. They throw money away, have sex all the time and all of that. Exactly the type of boys you hate. My dad pressured me, saying that I should move on because I was too young to wait for you. « A real man shouldn’t be heartbroken » he told me. At this time, you had left for a few months, so I gave in. I suffered from insomnia anyway. I started going out. A lot. My schedule was work, work, party. rinse and repeat. However, you get sleep deprived really quickly. The problem was that I couldn’t sleep in the apartment we shared so it was a vicious circle. The boys said they had something that could help me. I started doing drugs."  

Surprised, Noora lets out a gasp. "You? You broke The riot Club rule yourself? That’s why Chris was worried, isn’t it ?» 

« Yeah, one night, the boys were hanging out together and they facetimed me. I answered but I was partying with the boys. I was… out of it. They understood immediately. Chris called me again the next day and told me off. He told me that it was not me. He reminded me that I was the one who banned drugs on our bus. He told me « W, you hate drugs. You instituted the « no drug » rule even before we even formed the Penetrators. I know you miss Noora but, bro. Please. Don’t do that »

« How bad was it? » Noora asks, not sure she wants to know the truth.

«  It didn’t last very long, but it was bad for someone like me. I smoked weed a bit before, but I had never tried anything else. It was bad because drugs are substantially bad, you know. But I was lucky, my social circle had money, it was not cheap drugs. It wasn’t really heavy drugs too. After my talk with Chris I slowly stopped. It could’ve been worse. I remembered soon enough why I tried to be responsible with drugs and alcohol. When I stopped, I told my dad, because I was proud. I went to his office and told him and he didn’t care. He said something along the lines of « Did you finish the project for tomorrow ? ». And, the difference between his reaction and Chris’s astonished me. I tried to talk to him about that, how Chris was proud but he said that everybody took pills, that I should go on dates and that I was productive when I was on drugs, something like that, you know ? He never really looked at me while we talked. I realized he expected me to just be a younger version of him when he talked about me taking over the firm. I said I wanted to go back to studies, probably law and he said « no way. You’re here to take over. I’m training you for that.  » it was like I wasn’t even his son. It took me several weeks but I took care of myself, I continued working with him but I googled a lot of universities to apply to law school. I was a bit hesitant because I knew he wouldn’t be supportive. One day, Lindsay invited me to lunch. She asked a lot of questions about me, about you too and after a while she told me « William, I know that maybe I shouldn’t do that because your dad will be furious but I think someone has to tell you. Go back to Oslo. Don’t stay there. You are seriously in love with Noora and I don’t know if you can save your relationship, but you have to try. You have people who care about you in Oslo. You don’t like working here. There is nothing for you in London. You can’t stay here with your dad to make him care about you. I know he loves you, but he doesn’t know how. I’m sorry. Leave while there’s still time. » I applied to law school in Oslo. I was gonna come back in August. Nobody knows this apart from Lindsay. She probably will tell my dad as soon as I tell them I won’t come back at all » 

« You won’t ? » Noora tells him, a huge smile on her lips.

« No. It’s not good for me. If I go back and work there until august… he’ll try to convince me to stay. I don’t want to risk it.  »

She hugs him tight, trying to choke back her tears. « I’m proud of you. So, so proud of you. »

« I did it for you, » he tells her, taking her face into his hand. « I did it for me, but I did it thinking of you too. » Noora hears the emotion in his voice and his eyes and kisses him. 

She knows talking is not William strong point. His summary of his life is full of plot holes because he doesn’t want to dwell on sad memories, because he was raised thinking his emotions were something he should not show nor explain.  She suddenly thinks about something William’s father told them when she was still in London and ponders if it’s the time to ask him about that.

« William, » she asks quietly, caressing his cheek with her thumb, « Did you see your mother when she went to London? »

He takes a huge breath, obviously fighting his emotion. « No. » he says. « Well.. I crossed path with her at the office really quickly because she was in a hurry but…. » he looks down and Noora takes him in her arms, trying to do her best to soothe him. «  My dad told me that she didn’t want to see me. He suggested going to lunch together, but she said she preferred I didn’t go. When she dropped by to see my dad, she said hello but that’s it. She told me I had grown up though. »  

« I’m sorry William » Noora curls up against him and takes his hand in hers. 

« When I saw her, I kinda had a brain wave, you know? I remembered why alcohol and drugs are not a good combination. It reminded me that addiction runs in my genes. I took care of myself after she left ». William tries to undermine the shock the meeting with his mom had been at the time, for a lot of reasons. However, even just mentioning it leaves knots in his stomach. 

They stay a long moment just in each other arms, Noora kissing William’s neck to soothe him the best she could. 

« Why didn’t you… try to contact me? Why didn’t you come after me? » Noora says out of the blue, looking down.

William smiles. « Noora, I couldn’t. I wanted to. The internet page to buy ticket was open on my computer for weeks. But… » he stops himself to find the right words. « You spent the first months of our relationship telling me what I did was wrong. You told me over and over again that I should have respected your « no » and not insisted like I did. I wanted to hop on the first flight back here but… I told myself I had to respect your decision to go. I thought that you felt pressured or something and I thought if you wanted to come back, you would. On your own terms, though. I didn’t want to come back and pressure you to do something you didn't want. You didn’t even left a note, Noora. For me, it didn’t seem you wanted to see me ever again. I waited for a sign. When I read the email, I called Chris and organized everything.  He told me to wait for Eva’s birthday. »

« That makes sense » She admits, « I wanted you to come back though. I never thought I would wait more than a few days before seeing you on my doorstep. It was naive because, yeah, logically I get where you were coming from, but all I wanted was to make you see me again. In my head it was not a break or a breakup, just me sending you a message. »

He hugs her tighter than ever and kisses her cheek. « We have to communicate more. If I had known that, I would have come back much sooner, I swear. Maybe it was a good thing, though. We had time to think about us, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing that we spent a little time apart. I missed you like crazy though. Never letting you go again, Noora Amalie Saetre, just a heads up ». 

Between two kisses, she jokes « I’m gonna have to talk to Chris if he’s the reason why I was down for one more week than necessary. Why did he think it was a good idea? » 

« I have to ask him but I think he asked Eva about the email and Eva told him she wasn’t aware you sent me something. Maybe that’s why he asked me to wait for him. He really was worried about me. »

 Noora nods. She kisses him again. « Just thinking that if Sana hadn’t written that email… » She takes a huge breath. « I thought you had moved on, I wouldn’t have sent you something and you…. » he kisses her to stop her.

« I would have tried to bump into you after august when I would have been back. Don’t think I would have been able to be in Oslo without trying to reach you. » He tells her. « You’re it for me, No’. I respected your decision, but… I think I would have tried to have an explanation in the end.  »

She takes a huge breath, a content smile on her lips. « It scares me a lot but… I think… You’re the love of my life. We’re young but… yeah. It made me realize that I don't want to live without you. It’s scary because I don’t want to depend on someone but you make me feel… whole. Loved. » she kisses him « I’m sincerely happy when I’m with you » She kisses him again. « You make me feel like a Woman. » Another kiss. « We don’t have functional families, but with you, it feels like we have a family, you know ? »

« Oh yeah, I know. » William answers, before kissing her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	5. Chapter V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! 
> 
> Chapter V is finally here! Thanks for all of your kind words.
> 
> As always, I'm terribly sorry for all the mistakes.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Noora talks about her eating disorder. There's no heavy description, but still, if you're uncomfortable, skip Noora's talk. You can contact me and I will explain it to you or send you the chapter without that part. Of course, the description of what she did to lose weight is totally unhealthy. She doesn't explicitly say so to William, but as it was shown on Skam, she is totally aware.
> 
> Take care.

Soon, their kiss becomes heated. Keeping Noora close to his body, he tries to slow down. 

« Okay, okay » she whispers before totally stopping. She tries to find her breath again. « God, I missed you. » She says. He leans a bit to kiss her but she interrupts him. « The next time you kiss me, I won’t stop. »

He laughs,  « okay ».

« I think I should explain myself a bit too.. » she says, playing with her hands. « It’s my turn. » 

She sits down next to him, not letting any space between them. That way, she doesn’t have to directly look at him. He rests his hand on her leg to reassure her.

« My parents met at a psychology conference when they were in university. They were twenty or something. They had an instant connection and never left each other since. My dad became a psychologist and my mom a sexologist. They were - and still are - obsessed with each other. They kind of live in a bubble, they read a lot of self-development books. They believe that life revolves around sex. That’s how they live. I’m an unplanned child. They never wanted to have children and I arrived by surprise. I burst their bubble, you know? I think they tried to be the best parents they could, it just didn’t happen. It didn’t click. They tried but they just loved each other so much that I was always third wheeling. When I was really young, it was okay. They weren’t really affectionate but there are worse parents around there, and I spent a lot of time with my grand mother or my aunt so it was okay. But the more I grew up, the more they thought they could leave me alone, you know? I became more and more independent, which meant more freedom for them. Our relationship started to deteriorate when I was like 11 or 12 when I could take care of myself basically. It got worse and worse. I felt like I was intruding in my own house all the time. I started going a bit out with friends. Nothing too wild but we would just hang out after school together » She pauses, chewing her lip. William takes her hand in his. « and like, I was 13 at the time and I met this boy. He was kind of the star of the school. He played hockey, was very popular. He was two years older than me. Soon, Marco made it clear that he was interested in me. I was confused at first but he actually paid attention to me. He was kind of the only person at the time who listened to me. I quickly fell for him. Or thought I was falling, I don’t know. I don’t think it was real love now but at the time I truly thought I was in love with him. We started dating and he started almost instantly to drop hints about sex. My parents have always been open about it at home so I didn’t even register what he was doing. After a few weeks, he really made his intentions clear and I understood that if I wanted to stay with him, I had to sleep with him. I didn’t mind and I felt ready to do it. Even if I was ready to do it for him, and not for me. At that point, he was insistent. I realize now that it was just his goal but at the time, it didn’t seem weird. I agreed to have sex. All the memories that I have of that night are blurry. He was sweet, from what I remember. It was great, I was happy. When we woke up the next morning, I immediately felt that something was wrong. He was really cold. He went ghost and I went crazy. Then a few days later, he texted me again but to break up with me. It was a simple text. « I don't want to be with you anymore » I tried to fight, to tell him he couldn’t do that but he told me that there were better girls out there. » 

William nods, looking down. 

« He told the whole school we had had sex. He was proud of himself. I felt like my whole life was crumbling down. I was alone. I was fighting a lot with my parents, I didn’t really have friends because the majority of my friends were actually his.  There was a lot going on for me and I couldn’t deal with everything. I wanted to disappear. I started skipping meals. I skipped lunch or breakfast. Then when it was not enough, I replaced eating with chewing gum. I drank Coke and chewed gum so of course, I lost weight rapidly. In a matter of weeks, I became really skinny. I knew every tactic out there to lose weight. The only thing I've never done is making me throw up. That’s a line I didn’t cross. I counted calories, I hid food I didn’t want to eat, I drank too much water, I ate meal replacements but I’ve never throw up. It lasted only a couple of months thanks to my mum. She saw really quickly that something was wrong. She noticed that my eating was not normal and that I had lost a lot of weight. One Friday, I was saying goodbye to some friends, making plans for the following week. The next Monday, I was admitted to a private hospital for eating disorders and never came back to my school ever again. I spent months there, learning how to eat normally. When I was able to go back home, I felt like I was suffocating and I knew that I… could easily go back to my old ways to cope. I convinced my parents to let me move to Madrid and I left. My plan was to live in Spain for the rest of my life but, once I arrived there I understood that people do not stay more than one year there. I met a lot of people but they were only doing a year abroad and that’s kind of the mindset there. You have fun but it doesn’t last because it’s not supposed to last. I decided to come back to Norway but I chose Oslo. I couldn’t go back to my old life. I moved in with Eskild and Linn. I met Eva and the girls when school started again and then I met … you. And you know almost everything else. » 

She sees William looking at his feet. He swallows with difficulty. « I’m sorry. I’m sorry someone put you through all of that. »

 She moves to stand up between his legs. « It’s in the past and it’s not your fault. » 

William takes her face in his hands and strokes her cheek. Keeping his voice calm, he says « Noora, I think that it would help you, and help us too if you didn’t try to downplay your past and your traumas. You always do that… You did that in London. You don’t need to do that. Everyone loves you, you know. We can deal with you acknowledging that it affects you. You don’t need to bottle everything up all the time, it's not good for you ».

She nods, pulling her whole body against him. He whispers « You’re not alone » in her ear and holds her close, his hands slipping around her waist. 

The atmosphere is too tense for Noora. Emotions are high for both of them since yesterday and she doesn’t deal with stressful situations really well. Dreading a panic attack, she tries to breathe with him.

« Can’t we talk about good things that happened, too? » She asks. 

« Like what? » He smiles.

« I don’t know, it’s just… We have a lot of issues but we have great memories together, too? » 

« Of course » he answers, touching her chin. « What’s your favorite moment with me then? »

« hmmm… » she teases him, « There's plenty, to be honest. My favorite is maybe our first date. » she says. 

« When I gave you cocoa ? » he says, surprised. « Really? »

« No… That wasn’t a date ». He rolls his eyes. « It was not a date. No. Our real first date. The day after our first kiss »

« oh yeah. Ok. Why ? »

« You were so nervous, » she says with a chuckle. 

« I wasn’t nervous » he states.

« You absolutely were nervous, but it was cute. You wanted everything to be perfect and it was. The museum, the cocoa, the stroll in the park even if it was freezing, the kisses, I loved everything. »

« You were a bit… distant, so I didn’t think you enjoyed yourself that much. I wouldn’t have guessed it was your favorite moment with me »

« Well, I mean, I think it’s because… it’s a fond memory, you know. We were starting to know each other better, you were flirting, I was flirting back, even if I tried to keep my distance.We had a lot of fun. That’s when I realized I was falling hard in love with you, too. I realized you cared about me for real when you asked if I wanted to go to the pop music museum with you because who does that? »

« Apparently, me. » he smiles.

« Furthermore, you really tried. You tried to know me, you tried to seduce me but like… Without trying to push me. You were gentle…When you dropped me back that night, I was really cheerful. Eskild asked me what made me smile so much and I knew that I was fucked. »

« I see. » 

« I have plenty more… Our Sunday dates in London, the first time we went to the cinema, too » She smiles, « What’s yours? »

« I'm gonna say our first kiss. » he says, « it really blew my mind, so yeah »

« Oh, okay. What do you mean? »

« I.. thought that you were playing hard to get because you had lied about Eskild not being home a few weeks before. I was tired of trying and not really knowing if it was working. I was lost. That’s why I confronted you, but in my mind, I don’t know, I didn’t really expect you to tell me you didn’t like me. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it was a huge possibility, I was just very hopeful. I was hurt so I left you alone like I had promised you. Then, you followed me to get your point across, which was not necessary at all, by the way. » He pauses. « I listened to you and realized that I had read all the signs wrong. Suddenly, you kissed me and I was so so happy, you have no idea. You took my breath away. That feeling was so powerful, I can’t even explain it »

« I was trying to convince myself you were not good for me. You acted like a total jerk with Vilde, you didn’t really have a great reputation at school. You were a fuckboy and I couldn’t really reconcile that with the way you acted with me, and even less with my feelings for you »

« I understand that » 

« There was also …Vilde. She was really obsessed over you… I knew she was in a really bad place because she was trying to please you, to be the girl you wanted to be with. I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that the girl you wanted was me and that I wanted you back. I knew it would crush her. You had told her she wasn’t enough and then you choose… me. How could I tell my friend that?  »

« It makes sense, » he tells her, « I didn’t mean to hurt Vilde… » he adds. « I mean, I shouldn’t have said that but when I said what I said, it was not my intention to hurt her, if you know what I mean. I wanted her to hate me because she expected something from me that I would never have given her. I probably shouldn’t have accepted the first date if we’re being honest. » 

« I know… I know » she tells him.

« She stood up right in front of me and, like,  said things about the hoodie, the one she asked for that night, and I said the first thing that I could think of.  There was this untold rule at school that when people hooked up together, it was just that, a hook up. I didn’t realize that she didn’t know until after… » 

« She knew…from what she told me, you were just much more gentle with her than she expected and thought it was because you were interested in her, you know? » She says, suddenly a bit embarrassed.

« Ok, this may be a little awkward, but…. How could I not have been gentle with her? She didn’t tell me it was her first time but it was a bit … showing. She was a bit tipsy too… I’m not a monster. »

« No, no. of course, it was kind of you. And by the way, I hope you won’t sleep with another girl ever again, but if… You have to use a condom every time. Rule number 1.  » she laughs, « okay this was awkward ». 

« I … do. »

« No. You told Vilde you didn’t need one. » 

William shakes his head, taken aback. « I think she mixed two conversations. She wanted to have sex again and was looking for condoms, and I said we didn’t need one, but because I didn’t want to have sex again. The only time we did have sex, though… yeah. From what I remember, at least. Was she that drunk? » 

« Yeah… she was nervous and she drank a bit too much »

« I hadn’t realized. »

« She didn't want you to »

They laugh together to dissipate the awkwardness.

« A change of topic is needed, » she says. 

« We were talking about our first kiss, » he tells her, grinning.

« How I took your breath away, yeah » She fixes his hair. 

He strokes her cheek, « How you took my breath away, yeah. Did I ever take your breath away? » 

« Yes. » She says. « When you came back, yesterday » 

« And before that ? » he slides his hands around her waist, pulling her body against his. 

« Yeah » She teases him. Suddenly, he gently kisses her neck. « Wow, » she moans, feeling a rush of warmth throughout her whole body. She stands a bit, separating her body from his and looks at him with a poker face. « William Magnusson, didn’t I tell you the next time you would kiss me, I wouldn’t stop? »

A pleased smile on his lips, he answers « I took your breath away, didn’t I? » 

She fails to keep her poker face, « That you did. » she laughs.

« And by the way, I remember very well what you said. » 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you did enjoy that fifth chapter, I'll try to update soon.  
> Don't hesitate to comment or to send me asks on Tumblr (norwegianssweethearts.tumblr.com). You can send me suggestions if you have an idea for a chapter or a one-shot, too.


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I finally finished the next chapter so here it is.  
> I'm not really proud of what I did because I have trouble writing that kind of scene, but I hope you will still enjoy reading it.
> 
> if you're a Chris/Eva shipper, I'm sorry. As I try to keep that story as close to the fourth season as possible, I had to find a way to explain Chris behavior. (This is kind of my headcanon for him, but it's just my headcanon so skip that part haha. It's not necessary to the plot.)
> 
> Basically, this chapter is a total mess but it felt wrong not to write it so I tried.

_'Cause I wanna touch you baby_

_I wanna feel you too_

_I wanna see the sun rise_

_On your sins just me and you_

 

_Light it up, on the run_

_Let's make love tonight_

_Make it up, fall in love_

_Try_

_(Baby, I'm right here)_

 

Noora knows a lot of people think she’s a little bit hung-up. Vilde even thought her restraint to talk about sex was because she was hiding a secret. Eva, Vilde, and Chris don’t mind talking about sex, even in great details and description. They understood quickly it was a no-go for Sana, due to her religion and they respected that. (or at least, they tried. There were a few times Noora remembers noticing Sana’s discomfort when the girls gave too much information.). The fact is, there was no apparent reason why, in first year, Noora didn’t want to talk about sex. She never minded listening to Vilde's or Eva’s rambling about their hook-ups but she never participated in those conversations and the girls quickly noticed because, to them, it was odd. She didn’t want to justify that lack of participation which led Vilde to imagine things. Even after the girls discovered her relationship with William, she kept that part under wraps. They guessed soon enough that they were not platonic, but Noora never shared any detail. The girls probably still think she’s not hundred percent comfortable with sex, which is not true.

Noora is definitely not shy about sex and talking about sex. With William. To her, sex is such a personal topic, she doesn’t want to share with everyone. 

When she first saw William, she didn’t really register his existence. He was Vilde’s William. She was not blind though and knew that objectively, he was attractive. Knowing he was part of the Penetrators was enough of a turn-off for her. After that, she tried to overcompensate her attraction to him by finding him as many flaws as she could. She was irritated by his presence only. She wanted to keep that feeling alive as much as possible because it helped her distancing herself from the chemistry she started feeling. The night of the Penetrator party, she knew that staying at his house was not a good idea. She couldn’t help wanting to know him more though. He was a mystery. She convinced herself that she could stay at his house for the night for three reasons: First, she couldn’t learn something about him that wouldn’t confirm what she already knew: he was a selfish prick, so she was safe. Second, she was a strong, independent girl that could handle herself and reject him if necessary. Third, knowing your enemy is always useful. She now can admit it backfired hard. As soon as she was alone with him in his huge flat, she felt safe.  She was teasing him, flirting with him too. Across from her, there was the young man that took her on a really simple date, not the leader of the Penetrators. He was sweet, kind. He teased her back carefully. She noticed the way he looked at her but brushed it off. 

The night of their first fake date, she felt weirdly attracted to him. She was really upset and irritated but she appreciated his behavior. He chose a cliché date, but not something too much and totally respected the rule she asked for: nothing public. She thought they would go to a movie or something but no, he chose to have a conversation with her. He tried talking to her and she answered him defensively because she didn’t want to be there. She went on this date for Vilde, as dumb as it was, and the feelings she started to feel took her by surprise. 

The first date was an obligation. The night she spent at his was not. She could have gone home, she even could have stayed with Linn. She was curious about this boy, who was a selfish, manipulating asshole with the whole school but was kind of a normal boy when they were together. 

Their first kiss was spontaneous. She listed all his flaws trying to justify her rejection. She knew that she shouldn’t be so infatuated with him but she couldn’t let him go either. When she noticed that he wanted to leave, she had to do something. The only thing that could prevent William from going away from her was to kiss him. He had promised her to leave her alone and even if she didn’t trust him fully, she knew he would keep his promise because he was tired of this game. When her lips met his, she forgot everything. She stayed in this bubble for the rest of the night. 

When she told him that she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, she knew she was lying. That resolution, taken when she was only thirteen, was dropped as soon as William kissed her back, in all honesty. When they were spending time together, they made out a lot, she knew damn well that if they kept going on like this, sneaking around at school and making out in the privacy of their rooms, she would cave in sooner rather than later. He didn’t need to know that, though. To her, telling him that they would have to wait until marriage acted like a test, that he passed smoothly. 

When he flew to London, she thought that she had lost him forever and she was sadder than she expected about the fact that they didn’t have had sex. When he came back to her, she knew that she was ready. There was no real moment when she said to herself « ok I’m ready », it was mostly an unconscious decision. She trusted William.

She never had a problem with sex, she just wanted to have sex with a trustworthy partner. At the party they hosted, the night she asked William to have sex, she was not scared or anxious. She was a bit nervous because it was her first time with William but that was it. She has a real fond memory about their first time. It was love. She saw so much love in William’s eyes, he made her blush a lot. She felt important. Despite him having a lot more of experiences than her, they were equals. Sometimes, she even caught herself thinking that she would have loved for that night to be her first time for real, but that would also mean she wouldn’t be the woman she is now.

After that, she gained a lot of confidence in his arms, which led William to let himself be more cheeky too. He always respected her boundaries and never tried to push the limits. He was always very attentive of the power balance between them.

When she saw him again yesterday, she felt her whole body react. She had been craving his presence for eight months. She felt the need to touch him to reassure herself that it was really William in front of her. Even if she understands his reasoning, she needed… more to be able to grasp that reality. William came back. 

She doesn’t really know why William changed his mind but she doesn’t care right now. She can’t concentrate on anything other than his lips trailing kisses down her neck and his hands on her bum to keep her close. Her hands instinctively find his hair and she tilts her head a little bit, her lips trying to find his but William gently bites her shoulder and she feels him smiling against her skin. Suddenly, he holds her tighter and turns over to pin her against the wall. She lets out a laugh. 

« more practical.» he says, his hands tracing patterns under her shirt. 

« We have a bed, you know?» she says, before kissing his neck and taking the hem of his T-shirt in her hands. He closes his eyes and nods. 

She can’t really move, her back against the wall and William so close, but William lets her lead. She takes off his T-shirt to be able to touch his abs. She traces his tattoo, too and then they’re kissing. She lets her hands in his hair, massaging the back of his neck. She feels his hand trying to free her hair. 

« William, a bun might be more …practical » she says, blushing.

His eyes widen when he process her words. « Wow » 

She chuckles.

« I’ve never seen you with such long hair » he says.

She arranges her hair. « Do you like it? »

« You’re beautiful » he kisses her. « Fuck » he adds. between kisses « Fuck, you’re so beautiful » 

She knows that he uses that sentence on purpose, but she smiles anyway. « Shut up now » she tells him, sliding her hands down his body to reach his zipper but he catches her wrist and puts her arms above her head. « Bedroom » he whispers in her ear, before kissing her. She wraps her arms around his neck and holds him tight to make it easier for him to carry her (and to be able to kiss him). 

He lays her down carefully on the bed and starts kissing her while unbuttoning her shirt. Raising his gaze to look at her, he plays with his lips before saying « Let me take care of you ». She nods. 

After that, they don’t really talk. There are just kisses that feel like I love you’s, touches that feel like « I missed you », moans that mean « please » and gazes that convey every emotion they can’t describe with words. All she can think about is William. He keeps their fingers intertwined the whole time, as a reminder that he won’t let her go. Her heart is racing in her chest, she has trouble breathing normally. Even if she wanted to take the lead, she couldn’t because she is too emotional to even think. She wants to talk but all she manages to cry out is his name. She feels him grinning against her skin, probably proud that he is the one who has that effect on her. 

They stay in each other arms for a while without saying anything. William just plays with her hair. He spots a few tears falling down her cheeks and wipes them with his thumb. « You’re crying? » 

« Too many emotions I think. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. It’s happy tears though. It’s just, you know. I was already very moved and you just added an orgasm to everything and.. wow. » she sobs.

« Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry » he replies with a tiny pleased smile,  touching her chin with one hand. 

She melts into his embrace, trying to calm herself by breathing him in. She feels the letters of « I love you » being traced by his fingers on her back. 

When she manages to pull herself back together, she kisses the corner of his mouth. « You don’t have cigarettes, do you? »

He furrows his eyebrows. « I do. I have a packet. » 

« You started smoking again? »

He nods. « Noora, do you want one ? » he teases her. 

« Yep. I love sharing one with you after sex.»

« I know » he says, leaving the bed. 

Sitting close to each other next to the window, William lights them a cigarette.

« you know, Eva told us once that breakup sex was really good. I might have to tell her that we-spent-eight-months-apart sex is worth a try » 

« If you tell her that, you’re dealing with Chris mopping. » 

« She would try with Jonas, not Chris » she says.

« Yeah, I know. Same thing. He’d be insufferable »

« He’s in love with Eva?! » 

« no. Chris is just… Chris. His parents have a fairytale kind of story you know and since he’s a kid he wants to have that kind of epic love story. His parents met at Nissen actually, they were 16 and they had Chris really quickly, I think his mom got pregnant in third year. Chris wants to find that everlasting love since first year. He dated Iben but ended up cheating because … he loves seduction, I guess. I don’t think he really is in love with Eva, I think he just wants to be because he really wants to feel loved but not in a superficial way, if you know what I mean. Chris’ problem is that he’s looking for love and yeah, he tries to feel it, but you can’t force that connection with someone. »

« Really? » 

« Yeah… He doesn’t really hook up just because he loves sex. He hooks up with a lot of girls because he wants to fall in love. He's the only one that actually hooks up more than once with the same girl. I’m sure he cares about Eva a lot, because they have a lot of fun together and they don’t meet up just for sex. However, if he was in love, we would already know. Trust me. »

« wow okay » she says, giving him back the cigarette. « he doesn’t seem like someone who is insecure like that » 

« Well, I don’t know if it’s insecurity, but you know, he was raised by two people who started a family at 18. His father reminds him a lot that when he was the same age Chris is now, he had a kid and a job, his life was figured out. Chris’s life is still a chaos according to his parent's standards and he’s put under a lot of pressure. He still hasn’t got his life together and it’s a problem for his family. That’s why he decided to join the Army. Probably why he wants to be in love with Eva, too. »

« What if Eva wants more, then? Do you think he would cheat? » 

« No. I think he has feelings for her. If she wanted more, he would be over the moon probably. From what he told me, she doesn’t want more. She wants to have fun but that’s it. That’s a problem for him, too. I don’t know how to explain his thought process honestly. He wants to be in love, with her for now, but he knows she doesn’t want more and he is fine with that. Really. But his parents put pressure on him because they don’t like his fuckboy tendencies and I think that he is just completely lost and Eva is here for him and cares about him and, as a hopeless romantic, he would like to be in love with her. I don’t know honestly, Chris is … Chris. My point was, if Eva hooks up again with Jonas, you’re dealing with Chris. » 

« I don’t think Eva and Jonas will hook up again. Chris can relax. My point was that make-up sex is really really great, though. »  She winks, playing with her lips.

« I won’t lie, it hurts my ego that you single out one time like that. » 

Faking outrage, she replies: « Wait, you disagree? » 

« It’s sex with you that is great, not what kind of sex we’re having. But I’ll get over it, » he says with a smile. 

« Prove it » she says, pressing her lips to his. 

« Hey, Noora! My ego. »

« ok, so… remind me? » 

« oh, my god. You’re unbelievable. » he chuckles before kissing her, again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated, I hope you didn't cringe too much though.


	7. Chapter VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :)
> 
> I'm sorry it took me that long to update. It wasn't an easy chapter to write for me because I wanted to do it right and stay true to William's character. I hope I managed to do that. (It's mostly William's side of the story. Just because Noora doesn't give her side now, doesn't mean she never will.)  
> It's written in past tense for the most part and I struggle with that a lot, so I'm sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter.

After a well-deserved nap, Noora wakes up in William’s arms. She turns over and looks at him for a moment. He’s asleep, even though she knows that if she moves a bit more, he’ll wake up instantly. She can’t help but smile. She’s honestly on cloud 9. The euphoria she feels right now is something she had never experienced before. Her first moments with William were precious, but they did not know how much at the time. Now that she knows life without him though, she can fully enjoy little moments like this, and she would like to be able to enjoy them for the rest of her life. 

This is a very scary thought. She always saw herself as an independent girl who would never need a man in her life. She could even see herself building her life alone. Then she met William and all her certainties were gone. Now, she can’t picture a future where she isn’t by his side and it is scary. However, she just wants to live what she has to live. She left him once, putting herself first, and survived 8 months without him. If it was necessary, she could do it again. A little voice inside her head tells her that it won’t be necessary, and she believes it. Those 8 months were a life lesson. 

The fact that William is still wearing her bracelet makes her smile, and she slightly brushes it with her fingers. 

« You can have it back if you want » William says with a raspy voice. 

« No. It suits you » she says as she gets closer to him. She melts into his arms. 

« Okay. »  He traces patterns over her skin. 

« I’m gonna go prepare something to eat » she declares, kissing his neck.

« No, just stay there for a bit. » She can’t say no. 

« Since when do you wear it? » Noora asks a moment later.

« Since you left. I found it almost right away.»

She nods.  « why did you put it on? »

He closes his eyes. « I don’t know » 

She doesn’t really believe him so she brushes his cheek with her fingers. 

« It was all I had from you. It was a reminder that I fucked up. A reminder that we hadn’t broken up, too. I don’t know, Noora. Those months were hard, and not just because you weren’t there. I needed to cling to something and that bracelet was my only option. It doesn’t matter » he continues.

« but it does matter. » She curls his hair in her fingers. « It’s important to me. I want to know what was in that head of yours at that time. » 

« Trust me, you don’t wanna know. »

« William… »

« Noora, it was not your fault. It never was your fault. It was me, and I.. lost myself for a while. I did what I had to do to get better and that’s it. »

« You can’t blame yourself for everything, though. I fucked up too. »

« You did what you had to do. I don’t blame you for leaving. » He says, brushing his nose with hers.

« I disappointed you » she says quietly, not looking into at him.

Confused, William catches her chin and touches her lips gently. « You’ve never disappointed me » 

« yeah. I have. I couldn’t testify against Nikolai. I saw your disappointment in your eyes, but I— »

« No, no. No » Williams interrupts her, stroking her cheek. « My god, no, Noora. I wasn’t disappointed in you. No. Never. I —» he pauses to find his words. « I was disappointed in myself, mostly because I failed. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me. »

She tries to interrupt her but he stops her. « No, Noora, I’ve … always wanted to protect you from Niko. I knew he was gonna try to fuck our relationship up and I couldn’t stop him, which is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I understand that you dealt with everything the way you could and I would never fault you for that. I understand I promise you. But.. Both times, I felt like I was failing you because you didn’t trust me. You lied. I asked you what was going on, I asked you if you wanted me to go with you, I asked you if it went well when you came back and you never told me the truth. It was your way to deal with everything and it’s valid. But when I read the letter about the trial being dismissed, I realized that you had lied, that you didn’t trust me enough to let me be there for you. I know that it’s probably not how you felt. I didn’t want to confront you because I was so afraid of losing you, but at the same time, I thought that I had already lost you. I tried to … I don’t know Noora. On one hand, there was you, who had to deal with everything my own brother did to you and who didn’t want me to help, and on the other there was my dad with his unattainable expectations for me and I told myself that as I had already disappointed you and lost you, I couldn’t disappoint my dad. It probably doesn’t even make sense, but yeah. It was not you, it was me. You’ve never trusted me enough to tell me how you felt and it was really hard for me to take that in, without hating myself for it. You couldn’t even tell me you wanted to leave. » he takes a huge breath.

« I trust you though. » she says, almost whispering. She feels tears in the corner of her eyes.

« No, you don’t. It’s okay, Noora. I get it. » He replies as he wipes her tears.

« I do, William. I do trust you. » She repeats. She sits up a bit. « I do. It’s not a matter of trust. » He shakes his head so she takes his hand in hers. « Listen, William. Me not wanting to let you in has nothing to do with trust. It has to do with me. I’ve always had to take care of myself alone, it’s the first time someone cares enough about me, you know? And I have to be honest, I want so much not to need anyone or anything sometimes that I … act weirdly. I didn’t want what happened to affect me. So I told everyone, including myself, that it was nothing, I thought I was brave enough to face the trial alone because, in my head, it was not really important. I kind of feel guilty because I listened to him when he said those terrible things about you and I have trouble to convince myself I was manipulated.  »   

William tries to speak but she continues. « It took me a long time to understand that everything got complicated between us because he is your brother. You wanted to protect me from him as you said, but I also wanted to protect you from him, if that makes sense. I realized that what hurts the most is that … I was nothing to him, kind of. I didn’t matter. He wanted to hurt you. You were his target, and I was only a toy, a collateral victim. But then, I realized that you were a victim too. You feel guilty even though you weren’t there that night and you couldn’t have prevented it. He succeeded, in a way. I wanted to spare you, so I suppressed my own feelings. I know that you probably think that you’re like your brother. It’s bullshit. I don’t know if that makes sense, but… what I have concluded when we were apart is that we have to deal with the fact that we were abused, in very different ways, by the same person. Anyway, I trust you. I wouldn’t have slept with you, moved to  another country with you if I didn’t trust you. »     

A bit shaken up, she kisses him.

« I’m really sorry about.. everything. If I had told you to be careful —»

« Stop William. You can’t think like this. It was not your responsibility to prevent your brother’s actions. There’s only one person to blame, and it’s him. We could have done a billion things differently. Both of us. We can’t rewind and go back, we have to deal with that part of our story now. » 

« Okay, but, Noora. If I hadn’t tried to date you, you wouldn’t have met him. This is a fact. You can’t expect me to forget he did that to you because of me. » He says.

« Yeah, you’re right. But come on, you really think it weighs more than everything else that happened? I’m not saying it’s not a traumatic experience and something terrible. But it’s done. Why should we be hurting, why should we pay now for something that happened a year ago and that neither of us did? You’re right, it happened because we are in love, we can’t deny it. We are in love though, why should we let that night destroy everything we built together? You can’t blame yourself for that particular thing and not take into account the fact that you make me happy. You’re responsible for part of my happiness, not for your brother’s actions.»

« You’re way stronger than I am » he says. He kisses her. For a while, they just forget everything. 

Noora stands up and laughs. « We have to eat something. What do you wanna eat? »

« Something quick »

« spaghettis? » 

William nods and smiles. When she’s gone, he lets himself relax a bit. 

When he feels a bit better, he gets out of the bed and goes to the kitchen. He goes behind Noora and hugs her from behind, leaving kisses on her cheek. « I love you » he says.

« I know. I know. I love you too. »

They laugh together while making food. They sit down close to each other to eat their pasta, exchanging looks and smiles. 

When they finish, they go to the kitchen to do the dishes. Noora sits down on the counter while William washes up. 

After a moment of silence, she asks him, « William? » with a soft voice.

«  hmmm, » he replies.

« You’ve always said you knew that your brother would try to fuck us up. How did you know? » 

She sees him closing his eyes and taking a breath. « Is it because of your sister? » she adds.

« No… or not really. A few years ago, when I was 15, I met a girl. I was kind of falling in love with her, I think. We flirted a bit but nothing serious happened, I just.. hoped it would happen. We were young, she was a bit shy so we didn’t rush things. One day, I invited her at home and Nikolai was here, I introduced them. I was so happy. A couple of days later, she blocked me on Facebook, she blocked my number and everything. She went ghost. I tried to reach out because I wanted to know what I did wrong. She finally admitted to a friend that my brother had told her things about me. That friend explained to her that it was not true, and we tried to hang out again, but something was broken and we gave up if we can say that. After that, I went to Nissen and never saw her again. Nikolai was so pleased with himself. I told myself that he would never be able to do something like that again. That’s the reason why I didn’t want to introduce you. Concerning Amalie, I don’t think that he wanted to kill her, but I won’t ever know for sure. When we were kids I couldn’t imagine him crashing the car on purpose. Now that I am older, I’m not sure anymore. We've never talked about her. »  William explains.

« Why didn’t you give up on me? » she asks further, tilting her head a little.

« Didn’t I promise you that I wouldn’t give up? » he replies, with a smile. 

She chuckles and leans a bit to kiss him. 

« When we talked outside my flat and you had your flight to London an hour later, why did you come back? You’ve never explained why you didn’t go back to London.»

« When I sat down in Chris’ car, he didn’t say anything. I told him to drive and then … nothing. I looked at him, he looked at me and he said nothing because he’s just supportive. He won’t ever contradict a friend. Your speech was playing in my head you know and I didn’t really think. I just told him to go back. Chris smiled and drove back. » 

He smiles at her. She stands up and sits on his lap, laughing. « That was a bit dramatic of you but… I’m so glad you came back.»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	8. chapter VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm back with another chapter. I had a bit of a writer block because I don't know what they could have talked about haha. So, please, if you have suggestions, please, help me? 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading this :)

Nestling against his body, Noora closes her eyes. If someone told her to choose one feeling to feel forever, she would probably choose this one. William’s body is always warm, clashing with her eternal coldness. In his arms, she always feels safe. Before him, she had never perceived that feeling. It’s more than physical safety; it’s feeling whole, loved, understood, cared for. Nobody can love her like William does. This is probably the best and worst thing about love. You know that nobody can love you like your partner does, which is why breaking up can be so heartbreaking. When they were apart, Noora reasoned that maybe they were better apart, because everything hurt too much. However, she felt terrible just thinking that she would never experience William’s love ever again. 

Now that William is back in her life, she feels like she can finally rest. She can abandon herself in his arms and let him take care of her.

When she was a bit younger, she thought that feeling in love wasn’t compatible with being strong and independent. Strong, independent women do not need men. It’s still true to some extent.

It’s more complex than that, she discovered when a tall, mysterious brown-haired man entered her life. It all depends on how do you define « need ». She doesn’t need a man to validate her choices, or to open cans, or to live her life. She needs William. There is a great difference between needing a man for validation and needing a man because you are in love with each other. Some people might disagree, or might not understand why she feels that way about him, but she doesn’t care. 

She doesn’t care about what people think about William. She doesn’t care about what people think about love, about her relationship. When she is curled up against him like she is today,  she doesn’t care about anything else than him. 

She is aware of the fact that it could end because it already ended once, but she doesn’t care about that either. It could, because it’s life and life is unpredictable by nature, but that doesn’t mean it will. It won’t.

William holds her close to his chest, his hands beneath her T-shirt. He’s pretty sure that it is actually his, but it suits her more than well. He still can’t believe that they’re here, in this apartment, cuddling together. Feeling Noora’s body against him makes his heart racing, it always has and probably always will. He never thought he would meet a girl and settle down like he did, or at least, not before his thirties. As much as he wanted to have a relationship, no girls got the spark he was waiting for. It was kind of easy to hide the fact that he wanted to know what real love is, because nobody looked behind the whole Russ boss label he has since first year, not even his friends. Being labeled as a fuckboy because your brother was one, is a reputation easy to maintain, in fact. It was just that: too easy. Parties, alcohol, friends, girls. It was always easy for him. Everybody knew Niko, and expected him to be like him. It was more than easy. And then Noora appeared and she told him no. When they started dating, Noora had explained him why he should have stopped bothering her when she first said she wasn’t interested, and he gets it. At the time, in his mind, he didn’t see it the way she did, but he gets where she is coming from. However, he doesn’t think he will ever regret it, at least not when he has her in his arms like that. 

This relationship is certainly the most challenging thing he has had to face in his life. He doesn’t count dealing and growing up with a manipulative brother because it was not challenging, it was just a nightmare. Noora was and still is challenging because he wants to be better for her. It is an odd feeling, wanting to be the perfect boyfriend for her. He always thinks two or three times before doing something, he is always looking for pride in her eyes.  He actually thought he was doing a good job at it, in fact. He thought he was offering her a great life in London. A life where she could do everything she wanted without thinking about money. He imagined that she would go back to high school, maybe find a little job as journalist. He noticed that she was not a huge fan of London, but she still seemed happy. He had a bit of trouble finding balance between her and his dad but he thought it would work out. Then, one day, he found a letter from the courthouse and everything changed. He could never be the great boyfriend he wanted to be if he didn’t manage to earn her trust. He loved her too much to break up with her, but it was too painful. He knew they were doomed, it was just a matter of weeks before she would say they had to talk and break up with him. As much as he wanted to tell her and show her he loved her too much, as much as he wanted to open his heart to her, he knew he couldn’t do that because it would break him. He couldn’t let himself be vulnerable and let her break her heart the next minute. So he avoided her, waiting for the inevitable.

He understood why she couldn’t face him, because he wouldn’t have been able to do it either. He never blamed her. However, knowing she didn’t trust him enough to tell him how she felt was like rubbing salt in the wounds. He had sucked it up one time because he just couldn’t leave her after she told him they had to be together. He had realized that they hadn’t been together long enough for Noora to know she could talk to him. It hurt, knowing he spent nights blaming himself and knowing that every time he asked her what was wrong she lied to him. It didn’t hurt more than knowing she went through hell just because he had feelings for her. How awful can his own brother be?        

He had let Noora down, again, and couldn’t bear letting his father down. Truth be told, it’s his father who let him down. 

Thinking about his father makes him tense up. Noora laces their finger together and he instantly relaxes.

 « What are you thinking about? » Noora says. Her voice is low. She runs her finger along his arm.

« You. » he replies. It seems to be all he can think about for the last months.

She changes position a bit, still seated on his lap, to be able to kiss his jaw. He traces patterns on her back. « I am always thinking about you » he adds.

She smiles and changes position again to face him. Hiding her face against his neck, she takes a huge breath. « You don’t want to go back to London, right? »

« Not if you don’t want to » he replies.

She bites her lips. « You have to live your life however you want to, though. You cannot just stay here for me »

« I told you… I’m doing it for myself. My relationship with my dad is not as strong as I wanted it to be. I made a lot of sacrifices to go to London. I took you with me, too. He didn’t care about all of that. Noora, I love you and I didn’t really hesitate when I received your Email, but I would have came back anyway » he kisses her cheek.

« I feel like we’re going in circles » she laughs.

 « What are we doing now, then? You’re going back to your life? » he whispers, before nibbling her ear. 

She puffs. « You won’t get rid of me that easily, young man ». She kisses him hard. 

« Great » he says.     

« Did you finish watching Skins? » she asks playing with her lips. Her eyes are sparkling, which makes William smile.  

« No. » he says.

« Really? » Noora kisses his neck, again. « I thought you would. Do you want to watch season 2 with me, then? » She feels him nodding against her neck.

They always have been affectionate with each other. Even before they had sex, they weren’t afraid to touch each other. Of course, displays of affection increased greatly after they had sex. In London, they spent a lot of time together, just the two of them. They spent some of their weekends in bed, ordering takeaway and just enjoying each other’s company. Noora has always thought that it came from the lack of affection they received growing up. At first, even though their hormones were probably speaking for them, she noticed how William wasn’t used to casual display of affection. He was used to girls throwing themselves at him, and sex without emotion. He would smile when she pressed her lips to his without meaning anything by it. She remembers when she called her « William » after having called him Wilhelm a few times, how he kissed her cheek, smiling. She remembers how he reacted when she touched his face after the fight with the Yakuzas.

She also remembers how he always stopped when he thought he was going too far, how he would show her he was interested in her without crossing a line. William is really perceptive. He is always aware of what she wants and she loves that part of him. He’s also impulsive, and sometimes when his emotions run too high, he fucks up. She remembers when they first had sex, she had to tell him to shut up because he said something that was not appropriate. She understood what he meant at the time because she knew him and knew the context. She also remembers when Niko told him about the party, how strongly he reacted. She knows now that he wasn’t really mad at her, but at the situation. There was also the Yakuza fight and the bottle accident. William didn’t have time to think about what they could do, caught out by his friends and he let his impulsiveness act.  

She is always a bit amazed at how much perceptive and impulsive he can be, and how much he tries to fight his impulsiveness when he’s with her. That’s probably why she gave him a chance in the first place.

« Cocoa and popcorn? » he asks. She stands up to let him go to the kitchen. It was their ritual in London, watching series together, cuddling under a blanket with cocoa and popcorn. « Like in the good old days? » he winks. She holds him back by the hem of his top. She takes his face in her hands and kisses him.

They spend the rest of the day in each other arms, sipping their cocoas and feeding each other popcorn. Laughing, kissing,snuggling, and sometimes, watching Skins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading,
> 
> if you have any suggestion or just wanna talk, you can find me on Tumblr, @ norwegianssweethearts

**Author's Note:**

> Songs mentioned :  
> 1\. Breathe again - Tony Braxton  
> 2\. Shoop Shoop song - Cher
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it.


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